1. |
A Series Of...
07:03
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I don’t think I’ll ever get up close again
Special it was to experience it then
Before the world turned its back then got so dark
Awoken on the beach and never again felt your heart
Divine it was to know you then
So sweet you were like Tupelo honey
Oh baby I wish you would come and finish me
Because if we are to die I would like to go out by your side
Then you can come and tell me why you decided to run
I know sometimes you can’t control your head
Like the night I thought that you were dead
I know we can’t start again
I just miss your love my friend
I know we can’t start again
I just miss your love
I miss my friend again
I don’t get out of my head that much these days
I live in between the thoughts of you and the things I hate
I can still scream aloud and drown your silence out
But what would it take to feel one thing from you right now?
Divine it was to know you then
So sweet you were like Tupelo honey
Oh baby I wish you would come and finish me
Because if we are to die I would like to go out by your side
Then you can come and complete what you’ve already done
I know sometimes you can’t control your head
Like the night I thought that you were dead
I know we can’t start again
I just miss your love my friend
I know we can’t start again
I just miss you love
I miss my friend again
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2. |
Oh My God
04:21
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Been dreaming of snow since I came back home
Something to blanket the noise outside of my window
Because I can’t stand the sound of the world out there
I’ve been dreaming of snow since I’ve been stuck home
I stick out amongst the aliveness in the air
Well oh my god my god what a goddamn year it’s been
Oh my god the year it’s been
Oh my god the year it’s been
Oh my god a year it’s been?
Oh my god
Been speaking with ghosts since I came back home
There’s something about those moving pictures on my phone
Moments in time for when the present is too much for my mind
As I try to unwind and I find myself capsulized by the essence of your life
Somehow it stays long after you’re miles away
I’m tired of being angry with the birds and heat
I’m tired of being angry with the person you came to be
But I can’t ask you to relive something for me
So I can feel complete
So I can maybe sleep
So I can try to compete
So I can feel something
I’m still stuck in Oahu with the Milkyway visible above
Our homesick minds could not look up
Just caught in this feeling of uncertainty and gloom
But I spent this whole year in love with you
In love with the way this planet moves
And how it spun me into something new
It spun me into the home I found with you
Your little dog and his winter boots
Someday I will see you again with my own eyes
Someday try to recognize what’s what
Our story doesn’t end it we don’t give up
So baby just call when you need something
Just call if you need something
I will drive when you need to speak
I will drive and see you this week yeah
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3. |
U-Haul
02:48
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I don’t see why
I just sulk in my room
Neglecting the sunlight and my family too
I’d listen to High Violet or Boxer
But I can’t hear those songs without collapsing to my knees
While you run on your feet
Fleeting
“People’s actions are reflections of themselves”
That’s what you told me then
It’s what I’d tell you now
You ran off
Vanished into the night
I never saw you again
You never explained why
Held on to hope like a rope tied to your u-haul
It seared the skin right off
I’ve screamed so loud that words lose meaning leaving my mouth
Why does everything go south?
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4. |
The Art of Letting Go
04:12
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I don’t try to run and hide but I do
I’m terrified of you
Go ahead and rip my soul out into this room
Vulnerable but willing to
Don’t wanna feel like I’m dying when it’s June
Don’t wanna miss out on my youth
It’s a shame; you’re the one I love the most
You sent me podcasts that preached to me “the art of letting go”
If I gather everything I know I’d still know nothing
And you’d still live ten hours from my home
It’s insane; you’re the one I love the most
You’re so quick to let
I feel so reckless
Watched the world move without me
Too focused on the ground beneath
I thought I felt you
it’s just cracks within concrete
I’m always stepping on it seems
It’s a shame; you’re the one I love the most
If I could only love myself then I’d find out how to let go
If I gather everything I know I’d still know nothing
And you’d still live ten hours from my home
It’s insane; you’re the one I love the most
You’re so quick to let go
It’s a shame; you’re the one I love the most
You’re so quick to let go
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5. |
Since I Left the Salon
03:19
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Don’t feel bad
There are plenty of warm days ahead for us to have
If that’s what you want
I think I’ve thought of you everyday since I first left the salon
And how your hair could be the silver lining in one really bad bad fucking year
If it’s alright I’d like to talk to you a little more today
A little more tonight
If that’s what you’d like
I know I’m intense at times
I just speak what’s on my mind
So just say what you want to say
And I’ll tell you the same thing
Just lay where you want to lay
And I’ll still be here come the morning
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6. |
I Thought You Had Died
02:57
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We found you faced down in the sand
The night we camped out on the beach
I thought you had died my love
But you were all alive
Severely drunk aside the tide
I thought you had died my love
But you were alive
I find myself haunted by ironies
Our seats aisles apart as we flew back home
Though when we arrived you were in love
Until you passed out on the beach
I know you were drunk
But I still feel that pain
I was convinced you died that day
I know you were drunk
I still feel that pain
Instead of you
It was I who died that day in vain
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7. |
Love Song in 2020
04:15
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I can’t wait around and wait for you
Like waiting for a sky so blue over Scranton to last longer than a two hour segment
I find myself feeling awfully blue
Losing consciousness shopping for food in the Wegman’s that pathetically makes me miss you
I’m so scared of hospitals and ICU’s
An abundance of constant bad news on the networks
The death and destruction of the earth
Now I’m scared that you will get sick too
In the event you do I love you
and I’ll forgive you for the Hell you forced me through
But I want to feel you against my bones
Once more my love
Once for us again
Well all I can do is stay inside
Maybe observe birds as they fly outside of my windows
The gentle reminders that it’s still spring you know?
But it’s hard to find security when fabric hides our ability to smile back at those
Our daily duty to combat fear with hope
But I want to feel you against my bones
Once more my love
Once for us again
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8. |
Yellow Paint
04:32
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Yellow paint covers all the walls
Middle of May but I still see squalls
I’m wondering if you are gonna call
The feeling of gloom follows me around
Inevitable doom plagues this whole town
I liked it better when your voice was a familiar sound
It’s hard for me to resist the urge
To get attached and likely get hurt
But something in my mind gives in
Obsessed the feeling of redemption
I can’t wait around for someone else to pick me off the ground
I’ve spent my whole life handing my love out to everyone but myself
Well I don’t know what waits at the end
Worldwide collapse or oblivion
I know I’ll still be wondering if I’ll see you again
Forget tattoos you had on your skin
But remember the scent of the kitchen
It’s a moment in time fleeting from my mind
A feeling not easy to find
I think I’ve been here for too long (It’s time to move on)
There’s nothing here to love
That moment is gone
Life can start again
Just gotta get out of my head
Flowers come back from the dead
And after all has been said
A new world waits while this one ends
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9. |
Master Plan
03:05
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Enlightened
At least I think I am
Doing better at handling shit again
I just have to tell myself I can
That it’s all part of a master plan
I ate the poison root to try and seek the the truth
But just subconsciously thought of you in every organism within my view
Perception’s always traced to you
I never wanted to fall out of touch with you
And although I already know the truth
I never wanted to
Disrupt the norm
I want to reign instead
I wanna see someone in royal ways again
I wanna find something charming in me
But there are things not meant to be
Surrounded by the closest friends I love
Saying my reasons for not giving up
I don’t have to think of dignity right now
I’m just trying to shed dead parts in myself
I never wanted to fall out of touch with you
And although I already know the truth
I never wanted to
I never wanted to
I never wanted to fall out of touch with you
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10. |
Reprise
03:37
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I finally see why
I just sulked in my room
It must be the end of times
I don’t feel anymore pain from you
And even if that’s a lie
I try to believe it to be true
There’s just too much to think about these days
I feel selfish thinking of you
I don’t think I’ll ever get over it
New faces help me overcome the burden of feeling helpless in the kitchen
While you looked for a new home right in front of my eyes
I don’t think I’ll ever get up close again
Special it was to experience it then
Before the world turned its back and got so dark
I awoke and never again felt your heart
There’s just too much to think about these days
I feel selfish thinking of you
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11. |
Mostly Nothing
05:53
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There’s nothing left for me to say about you
There’s nothing left for me to write but still I do
It’s all I do
I try to act like I’m composed
I’m struggling on my own
I try to act like I am bold
I’m terrified of growing old
I try to act like you care
I know you don’t
It’s been too long
What do you both talk about?
I’d love to know
I really would
Do you draw portraits of him now?
Magnificent
Makes him proud
Do you lie and say “you’re the only one I’ve ever loved,”
That was me once
So stay where you are
Amazed I’ve come this far
Though if I saw your face again
The world would know how hard I pretend to feel ok
You cannot relate
You just ran away
An architect who escapes the very home they made
But I still dream of you
I wander the world subdued
Never knowing what I’d do when it’s finally my cue
Oh baby what I would do to stop dreaming of you
My moment will come someday
For now I’m stuck in this play
Though there’s never a stage
It’s only in my brain
The only place I’ve seen you for over three hundred days
But art will never die
I’ll find you in the field with the table and light
Is it your world or mine?
You took it from me
So here’s to you
“A Series of Mostly Nothing”
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12. |
Thinking of A Place
02:50
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So here we are
Almost one year to the day
I still hold on
You know I’m thinking of a place
Somewhere in the fog distorting light inside my brain
It’s hard to think when I can’t remember anything
It’s been so long since I’ve held anything concrete
Everything I love seems to dissolve at my feet
Or run away into the south, into Raleigh
What would you say if you came face to face with me?
Would you cry for once or just pretend you didn’t see?
A battered soul
A face you once said you’d marry
I don’t think I’ll ever see you again
Some days it just feels like you’re actually dead
You breathe in warm air
I just try to forget
So here I am nearly one year to the day
You don’t live here but it’s my mind you won’t vacate
I used to think maybe London or New York State
Anywhere with you would make a home we could create
But where’d you go?
You ran off fast into the night
Forgot to ask if I’d like to join you for the ride
Now you just exist in my waning memory
How I miss those days
I used to remember everything
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James Barrett Scranton, Pennsylvania
James Barrett
Scranton PA
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