Twenty

by James Barrett

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Eli Donovan
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Eli Donovan Deserves far more attention, always love finding relatable tunes. Favorite track: College.
Jacob Sutherland
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Jacob Sutherland Track one melts into track two perfectly, so there's no time for an emotional break and now I'm overwhelmed. Favorite track: College.
Olivia Bellito
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Olivia Bellito jimmy boy wild b is the best in the game. get a load of that T O N E
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1.
03:09
2.
04:22
3.
4.
03:34
5.
6.
04:02

about

Artwork by Robert Dodd
Tracked, mixed, and mastered by Jake Checkoway
All songs written and performed by James Barrett
Additional harmonies by Terry Hurst Jr and Aiden Holmes
Additional guitar on "Dead Bird" by Terry Hurst Jr.

credits

released May 26, 2017

Credits

There's a lot of special people in my life that led to this album. Thank you to my loving and supportive friends and family, to Terry Hurst Jr, Aidan Holmes, Joey Snedecker, Jake Checkoway, Robert Dodd, Matt Hughes, Hannah Gaul, Jerry Connor, The Fitzgerald Family, James Jaskolka, Shawna Smith, Ashley Gellman, Mary Cosentini, Doug Griffiths, Worries, University Drive, Spur, Major Pursuit, Zack Monahan, Joel Todero, Mariah Hawley, Celeste Belknap, Lee Owens, Molly Pash, Kayla Kruchinsky, Austin Catania, Wyatt Sebring, Thomas Stone, Robert Swift, Katie Carlin, Sloane Schubert, Angelo Maruzzelli, Dashboard Mary, and anyone else who has supported me throughout my twenty years of existence. I love you all and I am thankful forever.

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James Barrett Scranton, Pennsylvania

James Barrett
Scranton PA

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Track Name: Beginning
I'm not ready for this
but that's something I cannot say
the truth is that I'm scared shitless
of the loneliness that comes when i awake
so I wake up from the sun
reminded how she is gone again
but she's not what I'm thinking of
when i'm stoned or fucked up
at Jerry's or in my bed
I'm not who I want to be
nor I do believe that I am right in this
I was scared for too long to say
I'm ready to endure this change
I'm ready to begin

I'm not scared of the weight I have to tolerate
that comes with the words I need to say
I need you to believe in me
i want you to say to me that we will be ok
tomorrow is a new day
the start of my new ways
I'll change for you so I can say
"We'll be together again someday."
Track Name: College
outside
another clouded mind
another clouded sky
but your eyes shock me back to life
you say you don't know why I'm sad
well I don't know either
but I know something needs to mend
but my body won't fix the havoc on my end

I don't want to go home
but you need some time to grow on your own
I wonder why I can't feel the same
but I only have myself to blame

and yes there's days I cry
because my emotional integrity is as weak as the heart in me
when I try to say I'm fine
the future is frightening my fragmented mind
so why do I feel this way?
when all that long for is change
but I'm scared when nothing stays the same

I don't want to run
I don't want to hide
but I fear the world outside

will the ink on my body forever mean the same?
does my place inside your heart still pulse when you hear my name?

I don't want to go home
but you need some time to grow on your own
I wonder why I can't feel the same
but I only have myself to blame
Track Name: Weis Parking Lot
I normally don't hate myself as much as I do today
I normally don't feel the knives searing through my vertebrae
but I can't tolerate the pain
I can't accept the fact that the veins keeping us together
are tethered to a bridge seen from your living room
where we would watch the weather
and now I can't move
and if I could, I wouldn't want to
I can see the house where we were renewed

the day that you said that you loved me
the clouds filled up with rain
we saw a double rainbow from your front porch that day
and we ran through it all
through the parking lots
through the months when you never called
but we found each other the day of fall break
and I held you in the snow that showed up that morning
we kissed goodbye and walked back alone
now I wait hoping soon you'll come home

I need you now, but you're not here
and there's something about the new year
and you my dear
Track Name: Dead Bird
I woke up from the sun
I let my dogs out
only to find a dead bird on the side of my house
its feathers were everywhere
and I felt responsible for not being there

but there was nothing I could do

I saw you erased my face
and existence from your mind
do you think that I could ever forget our life?
so I think back on our love
and where we grew apart
and I never thought you would cut me out of your heart

but that's just where we are now

we grew up together then we grew apart
Track Name: Before I Died
there's always something that we won’t ever forget
I'm trying to remember the little I have left
I hear the planes soaring above me
but I know they're not you
the wind is cold and stronger than me
but I will stand my ground too

I won’t die like this

am I more than just alive?
I need the reassurance that we will survive
you're the reason the sky cries
you were the sun that gave me life
I’m sorry for the things I did to you before I died

you said you’d always love me but here we are now
I don’t blame you
I hate myself too and I'm trying to get out
the things I once loved feel heavy
and I can’t bare the weight
a convalescent in this menagerie
the circus won’t take

and I won’t die like this

and even if I died tonight
if I saw your face, your eyes would rip through my insides
you are the reason the sun will rise
you were the light that gave me life
I'm sorry for the things I did to you before I died
Track Name: Twenty
there are things I can't tell you now
but I hope you're happy to hear that I'm doing well
today was the first time the sun came out
I thought about the spring, our pot brownie, water parks, and your house
the repercussions from our demise
the things I once loved that I must learn to leave behind

I will miss you everyday
I will miss you everyday
there's things I cannot change
so I will take the blame
and I will miss you everyday

you said shit's gonna be different now
I tried to process turning twenty in May without you around
cuz we needed each other from the start
but my world began to deteriorate
then I fell apart

I will miss you everyday
I will miss you everyday
there's things I cannot change
so I will take the blame
and I will miss you everyday

I'm sorry that I cannot stay
I killed myself watching you walk away
I will love you everyday until the earth stands still in space
and I will miss you everyday
I will miss you everyday
I will miss you everyday

I still miss you everyday